A Chapter in My Story

On December 16, 2018, less than 24-hours after I took my husband to the hospital for a sickle cell crisis, he unexpectedly died.

He left myself and our daughters, who were ages 4 and 7 at the time, to pick up the pieces.

The day he died, I had $500 to my name, of which I found in his wallet when I collected his belongings from the hospital.

The day after his death, there was an eviction notice placed on our apartment door.

Not only did I have to plan a funeral, but, I had less than 30 days to figure out where my children and I would live.

Before the 30 days was up, the only vehicle that we had was repossessed.

“Major life transitions following sudden death” was definitely the title of the season I had entered into.

As I begin to figure out my mess of a life, I started looking for communities and safe spaces that could help me.

I desperately needed a person, space, or community that understood sudden widowhood, my range of emotions, and also my desire to LIVE again - not simply exist - in spite of ALL that I had been through.

I never found that space or community that had exactly what I needed.

Either they encouraged the idea that life was over because of widowhood.

Or they acted as if you could just move “on” like you never experienced a life altering loss.

So what do you do when you can’t find the exact space or community that you need?

You create it yourself!

Or at least that’s what I did.

That is exactly how “Redefining Widowhood” was created.

I knew if it was exactly what I needed, then it was exactly what other wives - who suddenly became widows - needed as well.

On that note, I’m sorry that you’re here but glad to have you.

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Carmen Andrea Harris, M.A.T., GC-C

Founder, Redefining Widowhood